AFTERMATH: Types of Survivors

Young Children Survivors:       

Children often experience the same range of emotions that adults do; however, children have fewer tools for communicating their feelings. For suggestions on how to help children cope please view our resources page and follow the links below:

Parent Survivors

Children are not supposed to die before their parents - this is a world view held by most, and when it is shattered, it is devastating. The suicide of one's child raises difficult questions, doubts and fears. Many parent survivors are filled with feelings of failure knowing that they were not able to save their child. "If only" is a phrase that may reverberate in the parents' mind. It is not uncommon for parent survivors of suicide to experience thoughts of taking their own lives. Some parents may try to keep the cause of death a secret; however, this may further complicate the healing process and isolate parents from helpful support resources. Rather, families can benefit by talking about death with one another and with support systems. Some find it helpful to write a letter to the deceased child, expressing all the things they were not able to say before the death. Support groups for parents and other survivors can help provide on-going support when the initial rally for help begins to fade.

Sibling Survivors

“Sibling survivors are often called the forgotten mourners,” says author of “Do They Have Bad Days in Heaven: Surviving the Suicide Loss of a Sibling” Michelle Linn-Gust.

  • Siblings living at home will often “lose” their parents for sometime as the parents try to cope with the loss of the child that died.
  • The sibling bond is often the longest relationship we'll have in our lives, and thus, we witness more life events with our siblings that anyone else.
  • With 31,000 suicides per year, 24,800 people become sibling survivors annually.
  • Most siblings will carry this loss through their lifetime as presence is missed for the remaining life milestones we anticipating sharing with them.
  • For more information: www.siblingsurvivors.com

Co-Workers and Friend Survivors

When a co-worker dies by suicide, many times employers and colleagues are at a loss about what to do. A suicide death is a shocking and emotionally disruptive intrusion to the workplace, and yet sometimes, because workplaces do not know how to handle it, employers try to resume “business as usual” far too soon. As co-workers shift through the events preceding the suicide, they are often able to pull together pieces of information that might’ve allowed them to predict the tragic outcome. Just like other types of survivors, co-workers might be plagued by second guessing and survivor guilt. When a co-worker is bereaved by suicide, people might avoid the person because they are unsure how to handle themselves. This strategy often increases isolation and pain for the survivor of suicide loss. Bereaved co-workers can benefit greatly from support from colleagues and managers.

    The workplace is the last crucible of  sustained human contact for many of the 30,000 people who kill themselves each year in the U.S.A co-worker's suicide has a deep, disturbing impact on work mates. For managers, such tragedies pose challenges no one covered in management school.

    --S. Shellenbarger, Wall Street Journal Online